Tuesday, 11 May 2010

a southern decline

Someone once said to me that life is all about "having an upbeat and optimistic approach no matter what ironic punches life throws at you". This certain someone also said to "bear in mind at some stage in life, everything seems to move south" and this was something I would learn as I got older. This certain someone received a "fuck-off" in response. They were the driver of my decision go against the grain and move north to the UK, in very naive hopes that things would take a hell of a lot longer when embarking on this so called "southernly decline".

Whether it's your friends relocating for a more balanced lifestyle or warmer climate; the foundations of your home creating a modern and costly leaning tower of Pisa; your breasts resembling dishrevelled balloons after giving birth/breastfeeding; or the gradual decline of your skins supple and plump appearance after 'a certain age', 8 years on it's been confirmed, that someone was actually right? The general theme of life.... is to progress (or depress!) south.

These days, I'm relieved that my toddlers pram has an extendable handle, as so it props up my saggy breasts when I walk, and protects them from dragging on the ground. God forbid I get gravel rash on my chest in addition to the Shingles that are presently co-habiting across one side of my chest and back. My energy levels are shot due to many sleepless nights, and I've finally accepted that I'm that little bit slower and more docile at work these days. Umm..... err.. where was i? Ahh, ok... I've even started taking comments from work colleagues such as " you're not who you used to be" as a compliment, I'm not that heartless competitive bitch I used to be. Quite frankly, I just don't care, it's a means for money, a break from the little one and a window to have proper (yet slow) adult conversations. Whilst the economy has indeed gone south and threatening to go back into recession, whilst my arse-cheeks resemble someething similar to stressed old leather saddle bags, I actually love my exhausting life.

The little one is walking, developing his vocabulary complete with the word Shit. He's thriving with potty training, by peeing all over the floor, all over the walls, everywhere except the potty. The little one is much easier to feed, he throws most foods back in my face and wakes up for a cuddle and milk in the middle of the night, and hits me in the face as a thank you. Everyone said it gets easier, they were just on the mark weren't they! The back pain and sleep deprivation is certainly much easier to cope with now that I've adjusted to this wonderful new life.

Everything is so wrong, it's right! And when my toddler says those two little words....it makes my day. Of course, need I say more, those two little words are... "Daddy's Silly".


  1. Thanks!! loved the invite mate you are so crafty it's unbelievable! Will def be there (this is my blog RSVP). Also have some fun kiddy things (eg. tent and crawl tunnel) that I can bring to the park x